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Striving for Harmony: Intent and Impact
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” — Old Proverb
Opening Thoughts
When I first heard the above proverb a few years ago, it washed right over me like rain water over a giant, protective umbrella.
The second time someone reflected this quote to me, it impacted me a little more than before, akin to being caught in a heavy rain with one of those thin, plastic-bag-like one-time-use rain covers, where you’re still (mostly) dry underneath but the wetness of the plastic gloms onto your skin, leaving you mildly clammy and uncomfortable.
The third time someone recited this proverb to me, it was as if I had gotten caught in a violent downpour without a raincoat or umbrella. I was fully saturated by the torrent of meaning behind those words.
Each time this particular quote found its way into my life is representative of the unfolding of the three types of wisdom — received, intellectual and experiential, respectively — I wrote about in Course One of this series.
As I venture the path of becoming a therapist — someone whose intent is to help others navigate and make new meaning of their pain and suffering (which I perceive to be a good intention), I have been continuously humbled by how hollow and potentially wounding good intent is without paying equal (or more) heed to its trouble-making twin: impact.
Yes, my intention may stem from a desire to be of help, to be of use, to ease pain and suffering, and yet, I can think of many scenarios in which my ideas of being helpful may be a nuisance to someone else, with the potential to augment their suffering. Most of us have been on the receiving end of this, for example, when friends and family with the best and purest of intentions offer us unsolicited advice. The Growlers have a song that encapsulates this dynamic beautifully:
“There’s nothing as depressing as good advice. Nobody wants to hear how to live their life.”
Turns out, being a “good” human according to ourselves is not enough. It’s far too reductionist to prioritize intent over impact in our interdependent and increasingly complex and entropic world.
